How To Love The Shit Out of Yourself In 5 Simple Steps

How to love the shit out of yourself

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I'm a spiritual life & business coach, a course creator, community curator, and careful orchestrator of abundance. I'm hell bent on healing, leading by example, and empowering other people's purpose.
I've manifested things I never dreamed possible through concentrated focus on what matters most to me and my family.
And, I want to help you do the same.

I'm Lisa!

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In an article called Self Love Crisis, Actress and activist Jameela Jamil was quoted saying: "I see the lack of self-love as an emotional pandemic, and one which is sadly hitting younger generations the most,"  She added. "Self-love is an inside job." And I wholeheartedly agree!

So in this article, I'm going to show you how to love the shit out of yourself so you can end your personal crisis, and together, we can chip away at the self-love crisis for humanity. I'm breaking down everything I did to learn how to love a very broken and fragile me who is now whole and the woman I'm meant to be.

You'll get everything you need to start your journey to self-love, including five daily practices that will make you feel better about who you are and who you are destined to be. Make sure you read until the end and tell me where you struggle the most when learning to love yourself more each day.

What's Inside The Article:

Step One: Understanding the Foundations of Self-Love

Self-love begins with a radical acceptance of all aspects of oneself. It's taking all the shit that's accumulated in your life and just surrendering to it. By shit, I mean the shit you've created for yourself and all the shit life has dealt you. Because truth be told, there's always both kinds of shit.

Accepting life isn't perfect for anyone and embracing your biggest challenges and misfortunes creates the bedrock upon which we can build a nurturing relationship with ourselves. All the little mishaps and things that we regret or wish didn't happen are actually the very things that support our growth, healing, and fulfillment.

Step Two: Embracing The Whole Self

To cultivate deep and lasting self-love, you have to meet the whole self, including parts you'd rather pretend don't exist like your shadow, wounded inner child, and archetypes that simply won't quit. Otherwise, it's challenging to achieve long-term, lasting self-love.

Most of these aspects of ourselves are being denied or suppressed. But calling them forward is the best way to get to know them. Our goal is to integrate these parts of self - or accept them for what they are. The more we accept the "darker" aspects of self, the more likely we are to build self-love through deep compassion for who we are in this fragile and precious life experience.

Step Three: Excavating Aspects of Self

Delving into the deep, often unexplored parts of our psyche where early or recent traumas, fears, and unmet needs reside is critical to self-love. Since we tend to repress traumas, fears, and unmet needs, bringing them to light helps us see what makes us feel rejected, unaccepted, and unloveable.

And, while we don't need to excavate the events that caused the traumas, fears, and unmet needs, being able to call them out using language helps us to see what's in our consciousness body and why loving ourselves is so hard.

For example, When I was in an active state of self-loathing, I had to meet the trauma from narcissistic abuse that made me feel shame. But I didn't achieve self-love by dissecting the abuse. I achieved self-love by approaching the shame.

From Broken To Beautiful: The Ultimate Guide To Understanding & Healing From Narcissistic Abuse - Complete with worksheets for deeper healing

Step Four: Nurturing Your Inner Well-Being

Cultivating self-love is also about taking care of your innermost being, which is your eternal self or your pure essence that is unscathed, unbound, and free to experience whatever it wishes to be. Beyond your traumas, fears, and unmet needs is your eternal self, who came here to take wisdom from your wounds so that it can expand into even more of who you are designed to be,

Part of the nurturing process is understanding yourself as energy, consciousness, frequency, and vibration - rather than feeling like a beat-up piece of meat wearing a suit that fits too tight or doesn't feel right. The exploration of consciousness, frequency, and vibration begins with one simple question: How do I feel?

Your feelings are the biochemical feedback to you, the quality of energy, and your level of consciousness. And once you accept that you have the free will to choose how you feel, especially about yourself - loving yourself will become significantly easier.

Step Five: Daily Practices

Learning to love yourself takes repetitive daily practice. Here are five highly effective steps I used when I was learning how to love the shit out of yourself:

1. Set Boundaries That Honor Your Needs

Setting clear boundaries is a fundamental expression of self-love. It involves recognizing and communicating your limits, needs, and values to both yourself and others, ensuring that your relationship with yourself and others is mutually respectful and supportive. If you're working through narcissistic abuse

2. Cultivate Positive Self-Talk

Transforming the way we speak to ourselves can have a profound impact on our self-esteem and overall well-being. Replace critical or negative thoughts with affirming, compassionate messages that reflect your true worth. Like: "I am a child of God just like every other human being on this earth., and therefore I am loveable, deserving, and worthy of a life I love."

3. Engage in Activities That Reflect Self-Respect

Choose pursuits that align with your values and bring you lasting joy. Drinking away, exercising away, shopping away, and scrolling away is not productive, especially when it comes to cultivating self-love.

Consider pursuing a hobby, investing in personal development, or simply taking time for stillness; these activities signal to yourself that you are worthy of care and attention.

4. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

Mindfulness helps us stay connected to the present moment, reducing stress and enhancing our appreciation for life. Coupled with gratitude, it shifts our focus from what we lack to the abundance we already possess. If you have trouble with this, try 5 Secrets That Will Make Your Morning More Sacred.

5: Grow Through What You Go Through

If I had a dime for everything I went through that made me unloveable, I'd be richer than many of the world's global elites. But at the same time, it would make my happiness vault bankrupt. You have to grow through what you go through in order to find the person you are meant to be. And, that person is not just loveable - but love itself.


Self-love is an art that has to be practiced over time. It's not mastered overnight, and even though loving yourself is beautiful, it's crazy messy, too. Since so few people understand the art of self-love, Cultivating unbreakable self-love is an ongoing journey, not a destination. It requires diligence, patience, and commitment. By taking the time to understand who we are, who we've been, and who we are meant to be, we uncover how incredibly valuable and loveable we are. Don't give up.

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Hi, I'm Lisa.
Your Spiritual Life + Business Coach.

Hey! I'm Lisa, a catalyst for abundance in business, life and love. With a deep commitment lighting your path, I'll show you how to overcome obstacles every step of the way. Wether it's money blocks,  a wounded inner child, a broken heart, or a broken business my tool box is FULL of remedies and solutions. I welcome you to book a complimentary discovery call to see how we can change your life for the better.

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